Can’t sleepWhen I can’t sleep, I like to get in the car and just drive. Or sometimes, I throw on a hoodie and just walk. I like the peace and serenity. I like being alone and retrospect on things. These past few weeks, I have been really ill. I haven’t been able to sleep much. And so I have been able to make a few observations over the past few weeks which have definitely help me look at my own self in the mirror.
At 6 AM the city starts to come alive. A city bus rolls down the street. Men off to work construction and students getting ready for school but me I am up early, more like I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s been crazy for the past three months I haven’t had much sleep, not because I haven’t gone to bed, I simply haven’t been able to fall asleep. So I get to see what people don’t because they are asleep or out of sheer ignorance.
I noticed a pregnant mom buying cigarettes and liquor. I saw a lady so stung out on meth she can barely stand. It pained me when I saw a 14 year old girls cut up heroine on the back of a toilet. It brought me to tears when I saw this lady overdosed on the bathroom floor with her 6 month old baby crying at her side. What I see people don’t want to. I can’t say that I want to either.
I hate that religious views contradict people’s common sense and better judgment. I see lives lost and ruin through depression but I can’t really blame them. They’re so fed up with their problems and their only refuge is Hennessey or Vodka. What I see, what I know I wish I didn’t. I see people pass and ridicule a homeless man even though they are preached love, tolerance and acceptance. I see parents disown their child because they are pregnant or didn’t become the poster child they had hoped and prayed for.
I see ignorance so judgmental towards difference and change. What I see would bring the strongest of men to his knees. What I see is a family. A mother, father and child work multiple jobs just to pay the bills and the money is still not enough to cover the monthly expenses. I see people so full of joy they would do anything for anyone. I see strangers coming together for one goal to better others. I see children filled with ambition and innocence they have the whole world in their hands. I see a young family so full of hope and determination that not even the rainiest of days will shake their love.
I tend to see what I want but when I look and see, I see just me. All my joy, all my sorrow, because no one can truly see the real me…