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Forgiveness is divine… | Mr. Prodg: New Chapter!

Forgiveness is divine…

Forgiveness is divine…
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“Forgiveness is divine, but it hurts like the devil” Shakespeare

“This is just a dream” that’s what I kept repeating to myself when I got that text this morning.  Two years ago, around this very same time, I lost my brother from another mother, Ishmael, and now you.  It hurts so bad as your mother explained how things went down.  You were such a careful fella, why did you allow yourself to do that? You should have thought twice about your actions my dude, it was foolish of you.  I know I’ve made that mistake once or twice and got away with it, but I always knew it wasn’t safe for many reasons. 

So as I sit back and think about on our friendship and the many years we have known each other and the fall out we had; this is one of the toughest pieces I’ve had to lay down; we never made peace and things shouldn’t have ended the way it did and I know our stubbornness played a major role in it, but why didn’t you tell me the truth?  After all the years, all the things we went through, I thought I deserved to know.  I hid nothing from you, at least not on purpose, and I felt betrayed by one of the two hommies I trusted with my life on the line.  Now that you’re gone, I feel betrayed by own thoughts, my own standards and I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling.

See, here’s what I am fighting at this very moment; I’m not a forgiving person. I harbor secret grudges, nurse slights and check on old wounds to make sure they haven’t yet healed.  I know it’s a terrible way to live. This is why I’m so awestruck by people who can forgive the unforgivable. Whether by instinct or through hard work, they know something the rest of us spend a lifetime trying to learn.

I wish I could go back in time but like Weezy said, “One life to live, never ask for a mulligan” yet maybe this time, dear Lord, it would surely come in handy, for I need you to forgive me for not forgiven him.   

The good times I will hold on to; a lot of very good memories. We’ll see each other again bro.  Say wassup to Ish…

Peace!

 I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. ~Henry Ward Beecher

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  • Jucee
    on

    Blessed morning Mr Blake and it is with deep sadness that I read this piece. I offer my condolances to you and the family of your friend. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t get a chance to clear the air. The only thing left for you to do right now is leave it in the hands of the Almighty. God is an awesome and understanding God. Go to Him and He will help you fill your void. He will help you deal with this the best way possible. Remember we are never given more than we can bear. This is the perfect opportunity to ask God to change you. Ask Him to help rid you of your unforgiving and grudgeful heart. Once you are aware of where it is you need help, it’s easier to get help. All is possible and everyone can be delivered. God Bless you and good luck.

  • jamie
    on

    Hey. Sorry for your Loss. In the midst of sorrow, you come to see how we have an awesome God. These are the times where he changes hearrs. Forgiving is never easy but it is so simple and powerful. When we forgive; it releases a heavy rock on our shoulders and allows us to rebuild or move on. I will pray and ask God to mold and give you the gift of forgiveness. I will be praying for you and his fam. Call me

  • jamie
    on

    And.God forgave you sweetheart. Allready done

  • DaDa
    on

    Really sad…im so sorry for your loss :-(

  • eksqwizit
    on

    “Now that you’re gone, I feel betrayed by own thoughts, my own standards and I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling.”
    How? In which way? What feeling in particular? (guilt, regret…which?)

    What will come in handy? (the lesson learned from his passing? the reminder that time is short, life is precious and not to waste it on petty grudges, the possibility of changing how you are and learn to forgive???)

    My condolences to you and yours!

    Where there is no love (for others in particular and not SELF) there could NEVER be forgiveness…In love there is forgiveness. I wonder if you understand the power of forgiveness…the reason I wonder is that I will bet my last dollar that you have probably done so many wrongs to so many who have forgiven you and kept on talking to you. Maybe you took it for granted, thinking it came to easily and did not value their forgiveness enough…or maybe you do not care if they do or not but since they did, cool but you never really understood the work it entailed for their psyche to allow you in.

    As you seem to be seeking forgiveness from God, I will suggest you read the story of David…the man according to God’s heart. Forgiveness is given to the “repentant”. Are you repenting? Are you admitting that you are wrong in being so unforgiving, acknowledge the harm it has caused in the past, realize the wrongs you, yourself have done to others and how unworthy you were of their forgiveness that you received and now will do your darndest to not take forgiveness for granted and to IN TURN be willing, and yes you are able, especially with God’s help to forgive? Are you willing to right your wrongs and pick up that phone, call the ones whom you so secretly hold grudges against, apologize to some, accept the mea culpas of others and make it a really truly new chapter as David did? Are you? That is how forgiveness works, at least that from God. There are always conditions. God is a loving God, but he asks a lot of us as well but but but he is willing to help our “willingness” lol.
    If so, you are forgiven, if you truly mean it and are repentant…you might need to read PS. 51, one I have been reading for a whole year every single day

    God’s speed Ahmed!
    Keep your head up MrProdG, you have a lot in corner!
    Be blessed and my condolences once more…

  • marshallsmc
    on

    My experience from my own forays into judgement, lack of forgiveness, and resentment, the last being the most cherished, have resulted in some discovery. Consider the following concept: Holding on to a resentment is like gulping down poison, and expecting it to kill someone else.

  • Eks
    on

    I think you owe me a reply ProdG. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

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