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10 Most Irritating Things Women Do During Sex | Mr. Prodg: New Chapter!

10 Most Irritating Things Women Do During Sex

10 Most Irritating Things Women Do During Sex
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1. Get in the mood
Cuddling does not count as initiating playtime. A man likes to feel desired too and for a change, he’d like it if his woman actually showed her interest by unbuttoning his shirt and pants. A woman should strip a man naked and strive to arouse him to the point where nature takes over. She should not wait to be asked to get it doggy-style either. A good woman will roll over and present — she knows she loves it.

2. Lack of foreplay?
Wouldn’t it be nice if women spent some time arousing their men for a change? Why is it that it’s the man’s job alone to arouse himself and his mate?

3. Playing dead
“Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home? Come on… I have become comfortably numb.” Doesn’t this give the Pink Floyd song so much more meaning? Why do some women insist on using sex as a time to catch up on their beauty sleep? Are they participants, or just spectators taking notes on a man’s performance so they can report back to their girlfriends? The next time you hear a woman complaining about a bad sexual experience ask her, “Where were you when all this happened? At least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.”

4. Yanking the penis
Insist that your penis not be used as if it’s a piece of gym equipment to strengthen her forearms. Inform her that the “sweet” stroke is the down stroke, towards the body, and that she refrain from pulling the foreskin away from the body.

5. Lollipop fellatio
The male organ is a thing of wonderment and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly at all times. Why do some women think that fellatio involves licking a man’s penis as if it’s a lollipop? The magic is in her vacuum-like abilities. Tell her to be gentle, keep teeth away at all times and use lots of saliva.

6. Brushing teeth
Asking a man to go brush his teeth after he has finished performing his cunnilingus duties is unsexy and can really ruin the mood. On the other hand, if a woman expects a kiss after performing her fellatio duties, it is expected that she be considerate and hop to the washroom right away to brush her teeth.

7. Spit bucket
It’s understandable that some women do not like the taste of semen. But the most annoying thing a woman can do by far is put a spit basket beside her. Spitting into the basket every two minutes really cheapens and degrades the whole act. If your woman cannot handle the taste, ask her to stop out of respect, or rub some Strawberry/Kiwi Juice on your penis to camouflage the taste of semen.

8. Lack of position savvy
A small number of women have no clue how to move around in bed, making it very clumsy and awkward to try any new and erotic positions. This is probably due to lack of experience or participation in past relationships. When I say position 69, I don’t mean to literally position her in a number shape. Or when I suggest doggy-style, I don’t mean for her to bark either. I suggest that you give her a sex manual, or read one yourself to help her reach incredible new heights of unbelievable intense sexual pleasure. That, or get her an Etch A Sketch.

9. Distractions
In order to fully enjoy sex, one must indulge themselves in the moment without being distracted by menial thoughts such as doing the laundry, washing the dishes, making a shopping list, or repainting the bedroom. If your woman begins to talk about such things, ask her to go back to playing dead

10. Faking orgasm
How can a man improve his sexual performance if his woman keeps faking orgasm? As long as he thinks she’s satisfied, he’ll keep doing the same thing, and she’ll keep faking. Eventually it will become a vicious cycle. Some women still have the nerve to complain about their men’s lovemaking skills. Instead of complaining to their girlfriends, women should make it a habit of letting men know when they’re pleasing them and when they’re not. Men deserve some credit, our egos are not as fragile as women think. As long as it’s constructive criticism, men won’t mind if it will improve the lovemaking.

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32 Comments

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  • HaitianQueen
    on

    Very funny reading, but # 4 is my favorite.

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      you be yanking the penis HQ?

    • HaitianQueen
      on

      No i never yank, but “Insist that your penis not be used as if it’s a piece of gym equipment to strengthen her forearms” its funny.

  • Maguie
    on

    # 7 is funny. I laughed my heart out. Lolll well, at least she don’t want to vomite on the guy. Lolll nice notes, however patient and showing your ways is good. Everyone like different things.

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      what do u like Maguie?

  • Maguie
    on

    # 7 is funny. I laughed my heart out. Lolll well, at least she don’t want to vomit on the guy. Lolll nice notes, however have patient and showing your ways is good for Everyone like different things.

  • Maguie
    on

    What I like? Hmmmmm, doggy style cheri. Lollll. What about you(Blake) and don’t be shy!loll

    • HaitianQueen
      on

      Yes Blake dont be shy I want to see this reply :))

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      I like 2 hit it from all kind of angles…

    • HaitianQueen
      on

      Good answer

  • Maguie
    on

    Lolll, that’s great to hear. Hmmmm

  • Brenda
    on

    this indeed was a great laugh-

    However #10 What grown women wants to spend her time teaching a MATURE MAN hw to please her???? Not I

    HINT* to all men- pay attn to her body language…. the body never lies

    • GwadaBoy
      on

      now some man wouldnt agree on that. ive had an experiences where audibly the girl is enjoying it but the body lays there like plywood. that was the first and last time iv had that happen.

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      Lol @ Gwadaboy…

  • Marie-Yves
    on

    WoW, too funny!!…. Brushing teeth is a killer & playing dead is priceless. Lack of position savy……lmao!

    Question? What is a man’s job in bed?

    I think you should post —> (10 Most Irritating Things Men Do During Sex) I cant wait to read it.

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      It depends on the position

  • Marie-Yves
    on

    It depends on the position! Hmm really? I thought that a woman should always stroke a man’s ego and let him feel powerful in bed, by allowing him to be more confidence and to stabilize the positions…. I guess I was wrong.

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      Not me. I get lazy @ times

  • Marie-Yves
    on

    lol, that’s sad….

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      Yes it is but then again…when “el diablo” is on…they beg 4 mercy

  • Marie-Yves
    on

    SMH! Lol, you’re too much….

  • Kattdakitten
    on

    “On the other hand, if a woman expects a kiss after performing her fellatio duties, it is expected that she be considerate and hop to the washroom right away to brush her teeth.”

    A microscopilcally minor thing that essentially doesn’t matter to a couple whio is truly about each other and not just busting a nut or jete yon ti dlo1″

    The little things, I tell you! Hmmm

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      Hmmmm @Katt

  • Kattdakitten
    on

    Hmmmmm! Yes indeed!

  • NEM
    on

    lol… your crazy man!!

  • bee
    on

    Some Women should pay a lot of attention to #5 and #7.Why bother if you’re not going to enjoy the act. Licking around the penis playing shy or like its below you to even put your lipps on it is the wrong attitude to have when it comes to oral sex. My personal motto is a job is never complete if u dnt swallow. Yes it an aquired taste but am all about pleasing my man. Trust if you don’t some one else who enjoys it will and so will he.

    • Mr. Prodg
      on

      I’m with you on that Bee… Your man should be grateful…hmmm

    • SM
      on

      I don’t swallow but enjoy sucking and have never had any complaints about it. If you did it right, most guys don’t care if you swallow or not. They’ll happily come elsewhere ;) I only swallowed my first time doing that particular act because he insisted upon it, but he and I both learned that noyone can force me into something I don’t wanna do when he later got his own semen dumped back into his lap if you know what I mean. Gross, but true lol.
      Ladies, you can only be sexy if you are doing something that you’re comfortable doing, can let yourself be free and just go with it. If it has to be puhed upon you or you have to force yourself then you might as well save it for another day cause he will notice and neither of you will enjoy it in the end.

  • kattadakitten
    on

    Out of topoc but with in context just for a bit:

    “If you don’t please your man, someone else will..”

    Biggest Misconception ever. You can be pulling every trick and then some, that won’t make him stay. When a man or a woman wants to leave, she will leave, regarless.

  • Eksqwizit
    on

    I took lots of notes…thank you!
    best way to confirm if a man really is into a woman or into the sex…use all 10 irritating things ha ha ha ha ha ha and if he sticks around…he lovesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you :)
    bb, you need to thank MrprodG lol lol lol

    SOME irritating things men do (general):

    -suck my nose when kissing me ewwwwwwwww

    -use too much saliva when kissing me ewwwwww

    -promise to eat the puss real goooooooooooooood and they can’t do jack, let down or they really suck at it, dang!!!!

    -wanna pierce my pelvic with deep thrusts to poke through my nose, that ish hurts sorry…

    -thinks doggy style is loved by every woman

    -telling me to not make him cum too rapidly…like WTH! control thyself my child! lol

    -NOT spending enough time on my boobs lol

    I am sure the ladies have their own list LOL LOL

  • marlene joseph
    on

    Im in tears too funny but so true!!!!!!

  • manno501
    on

    sak pase mr prod mwen nan kay la

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