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If you can’t undress them in your mind… | Mr. Prodg: New Chapter!

If you can’t undress them in your mind…

If you can’t undress them in your mind…
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I’m a bit of a chatter box who likes to get thoughts off his mind so bare with me. They are usually good, as life has seemed to bestow upon me jokes moments at all times. And today it seemingly put to rest a gross counterpart my friend was having trouble dealing with.

There is this girl on Facebook, who I’ll call X, that is very ugly. I mean, the girl walks like a T-Rex, has acne, glasses that make her eyes look huge…THE WORKS. Recently I got to know a fb friend and became friends with him, only to find out that this ugly girl has a crush on him.

It all started when my friend, who I’ll call Sam, was dozing off in the back room at this house party we attended. She came in, and like all good ugly girls do, started a conversation with him. She said the usual “Whats up”, with the reply of “I’m tired”. She replied “Maybe I can wake you up”. To any man, this should mean trouble; you never want a piece of meat like that interested in you. I hate to be shallow and mean, but literally she is the laughing stock of the party, and if he were to do anything with her, it would automatically mean his status amongst his peers would dramatically lower.

Anyways, he is obviously woken up by that statement and has no idea what to do or say. In his absence of words, she adds, “I’m wearing red lacey underwear, with the bra to match”. Seems fake? Nope. I couldn’t make this up. She left with “Maybe I can prove it to you sometime”.

One would hope this is where it ended, but no, from now on, she continued to pursue him, with simple remarks as “I like to swallow”. This continued, and the good guy in my friend was showing, as when he was talking about the situation, he sounded like he actually would consider doing it…er…her.

Me being the nice guy I am, I really wanted get it through his head that this was a bad idea, if not for his reputation, but for his own well being. I’m being 100% honest here, when I’m saying I couldn’t imagine HUGGING this girl, couldn’t imagine my face touching her hair. SHE IS GROSS! Do not judge me upon this as you would think entirely the same thing.

Long story short though, I finally put into words a sentence that veered him off the X track ,”If you can’t undress them in your mind, don’t do it at all”. And I hate to say, well, no I don’t, this statement is entirely true. If you can’t undress a female in your mind, don’t bother doing it at all. This statement caught him off guard, and he laughed a little. He actually thanked me and seemed to be satisfied with letting her go to some other whore-mongrel.

So, the moral of this story is, if you can’t do it in your mind, don’t do it at all, words to live by.


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  • Joker

    “if you can’t do it in your mind, don’t do it at all” words of wisdom. Nice one

  • HaitianQueen

    Wow this a funny one Prodg. Entertaining as always but just a note the “if you can’t do it in your mind, don’t do it at all” goes for men also :)))

  • SM

    Lol. Might sound shallow and callous, but at least you’re honest! haha

  • katt

    Oh lawd! Do I laugh or do I frown? Lmboooo


  • Ley'Lha

    Lol…Curious to know what your friend decided to do at the end

  • lynnaima

    ”If you can’t undress them in your mind, don’t do it at all”
    hmmmmmmm interesting! ca dit beaucoup!!!!!

  • krakrakra


    LOL! You stopped your friend from getting layed, what if he didnt feel the same way his entourage felt? LOL! I’m digging it though!

    • Mr. Prodg

      sometimes you have to stop em

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